Saturday, June 13, 2009

First steps into Grandmotherhood

I've never been one to pick up another woman's baby.

I have loved every one of my children, and have good maternal instincts.
My claws come out when anyone injures my children and the mild mannered person that I am, soon becomes a ferocious tiger whose den the culprit better stay out of.

Bruce took to grandfatherhood like a fish to water.
I had to grow into it, let things settle for a few days.

I understood in my head the concept of being a grandmother but the bottom line remained... I have never been one to pick up another woman's baby and Breanne was someone else's baby. I didn't shrink from picking her up either of course because she is sweet and feels good to hold.


It was not until I was looking at the pictures of Melanie holding her in her arms that it hit me... "My baby has a baby of her own" and that baby, because it is her baby, is my baby too... What a weird feeling...
Maybe a little like what fathers feel after 9 months of pregnancy.

Joe's answer to my question "How do you feel?' when we went to the hospital the day Brianne was born was "Surreal"
Yes, I understand that. Better than ever.

Melanie was sure she would be fine on her own and believing that Joe would be with her all week, we knew she would be in good hands but then she said Joe was going back to work Friday and I began to worry...
About my babies: mother and daughter...


Still she was sure they'd be fine and I thought it was important she felt her way into motherhood just like I was feeling my way into grandmotherhood.
I left the door opened and made sure she knew to call if she changed her mind.
She did.

So I left Peru Friday morning... my cell phone was dead because the week before I had left my cord at the hospital and taken Melanie's instead... mmm... should I see something into that?
Anyway... I knew my way sort of... I got the directions off Mapquest but the came up with 2 different locations so I got nervous and had to stop at the store to pick up a new car charger.
Once that was done, I could be on my way and call Mel when I got closer to getting lost. I actually did much better than I had anticipated.
I have visual memory of things and so milestones are my way of finding my way to places I've been. Not always good because, let's face it, they can tear down buildings and build new ones!

So, I'm here and Melanie is doing fine. And Brianne is doing fine too.
They are getting used to each other and learning to be mother and daughter and I get to learn how to be a grandmother.

Experience... sure I have some with my own kids.
Does that mean Mel will have the same ones? no. She will have her very own.
Like we said... Melanie is the best Mom Brianne could ever have and Brianne is the best child Melanie could ever have. The same goes for Joe of course and it is comforting to see how he dotes over the little one.

The dogs are hilarious...
Sammy does not seem to care one way or another.
Triton on the other hand behaves like a mother-hen.
If Brianne starts to fuss he starts running in every direction until he finds someone to go get her. Reminded us of Nana in Peter Pan...

I am stepping back and helping with silly things like housework, because that's what Melanie needs right now while she is recuperating from her c-section.
But it was fun playing with Brianne while her mom was taking a long soothing shower this morning.
They had a LONG night and so now mother and daughter are asleep.

A lady from church brought dinner yesterday but they will hold on to it.
Grandma (me, still weird...)can cook for them right now.

It is wonderful to be able to feel the warmth, love and happiness these young people feel right now. They have been married almost 7 years and they went through some pretty difficult times due to unforeseen circumstances. They had hoped for a child for a long time and dealt with much opposition because people assumed Melanie was putting her career ahead of having a family. If only people knew... The pain felt through all this was very deep but it seems that this deep pain has been replaced with as deep a joy.

Parenthood is more than feeling deep joy though and so along with these fulfilling feelings they are also finding out how to cope with not so pleasant moments as the three of them are learning to adjust to each other.







What an adventure they are embarking on!
What amazing things await them!
It's going to fun watching it all unfold!
and
It's the beginning of a new adventure for us too...
Thank You, Joe and Mel!
For giving us the opportunity to discover grandparenthood!
May you one day receive the same blessing!

No comments: