A Mother’s Story

Peru Jun 21, 19--

… Recapping previous weeks…

I am still gaining weight but moderately. At the end of my pregnancy I weigh 164 pounds, which is 24 more than 9 months ago. I sleep poorly because my back bothers me.

May 31^st: Bruce drove me to Huntington for a baseball tourney that lasted until 10pm. Because I sat in a chair all day, I had a bad night.

June 1: Sunday, Muriel's birthday. My stomach is so tense that I have trouble walking and am terribly uncomfortable. In the evening, after Muriel's birthday party, the contractions become regular and painful and Bruce takes me to the hospital. I'm admitted and I spend the night there. Bruce stays with me and so misses work. False hope! I am released the next morning.

Furious with myself and disappointed I promise myself not to return until my waters have broken. However

June 3^rd: I start having a bloody show and the contractions come every 15 minutes and are painful. Yet I manage to finish my letter to Myriam and then go lay down at 1pm.

June 4^th: same thing as yesterday. In the morning I did tell Dick that within 24-48 hours he will have another grandchild. At lunch time I was still there but at 12:10pm an extremely strong contraction takes my breath away and I ask Muriel to take me to the hospital. The contractions are 5 minutes apart and hurt so much that I have trouble breathing and am unable to stand up.

Muriel had to ask for the EMTs to bring a wheelchair to get me from the truck into the hospital. I could not walk.

They wheel me to the Maternity Ward where a nurse examined me and they deciced to keep me. The nurse wanted to know how close the contractions are to each other but has to wait 20 minutes as everything stopped again. As soon as she leaves the room they come back! Of course!

I started to walk and they were back every 5 minutes. No change until June 5^th at 11am. I remained dilated at 4cm all night. Then

June 5^th: at 11am the contractions become intolerable. I am fighting them because I am unable to relax. They have to give me a shot to help me relax. It helps until 3pm. I was hooked up to a monitor that marked my contractions and the baby's heartbeat as well as the baby's movements. What thunder!

Muriel was there, holding my hand to help me. Bruce was there too and it made me feel good. He kept asking if I could forgive him for causing me to be in so much pain. I said yes but we would not be having any more babies for a while…

I was so miserable!

I had been the first of 3 women to arrive at the hospital and the other 2 already had their babies and I was still laying there… in agony.

At 3:30pm the doctor came in to check on me and said it would be another 2 hours. I was at 8cm! I thought I was going to lose my mind.

At 3:45pm I was crazy. The doctor had broken my waters with a long hook and I felt an intense need to push. I was trying to relax but nothing would do. The nurse told me to breathe deeply but the more I breathed the more I felt like pushing.

At 4pm: 9cm. Bruce calls the nurse back

At 4:15pm, the nurse hurries me into the delivery room. The baby's head had crowned. They could see the baby's hair. They call the doctor who hurries. Bruce gets gowned. They get me on the delivery table and tell me to push if I feel like it – which I do happily! –

As soon as they are ready: 2 pushes and here comes Baby! A beautiful big baby! A little girl: 9 pounds 7 ounces 21 inches!

It is incredible! Labor pains are so awful to bear! I thought many times that I would never get there and yet… it is unbelievable how you forget such intense pain as soon as you hear your child's voice!

What a wonder! A child! Well worth the trouble!

When you hold that little one in your arms! I felt so close to Bruce! It was Love that created this little girl.

Melanie Eileen was born at 4:33pm June 5^th, 19--.

She dropped to 8 pounds 12 ounces in the first 3 days but 15 days after birth she weighed 9lbs 13oz. I wish I had had my journal with me sooner. It has been in the attic and Bruce forgot to go get it. However, I can say that she puckers her lower lip like I do when she wants to cry and when she wakes up, she opens one eye at a time.

She has long brown hair that are begin to get lighter and grey blue eyes. She is so cute. She only cries when she's hungry. She must have a stomach ache today because she's crying a lot, poor little one! Bruce is there for every feeding.

June 12: in the evening, Dick et Muriel take us to Indianapolis to pick up Marraine at the airport, who brings us lots of presents.

June 13: baby shower at Ruth Plothow's. Marraine gave me $100 to open a bank account for Melanie and also money to buy her a bed when we are on our own.

June 15: Melanie gave us her first laugh. We were going to bed and were looking at her tenderly and she burst into laughter. What a joy!

Like Mother, Like Daughter

It looks like Melanie will be spared the pains of child labor. Lucky her!
At first I had a real problem with hearing that the doctors were contemplating a c-section to deliver Brianne. After all, Melanie weighed 9 pounds and 7 ounces when she was born. Her grandfather thought she was such a big baby coming out of such a petite woman that I was, that he nicknamed her Baby Huey.
My sister gave birth to children on both continents and the doctors here seemed so alarmed so soon that I figured the same thing was happening with Mel. Adding to the fact that so few doctors want to deliver babies these days because of suit-happy people who have made the risk of something going wrong more than doctors want to deal with.
The doctor who delivered Melanie was Chinese. He delivered all of my kids except Michael. He used to say: “Baby comes when baby ready” and overall my pregnancies were very easy. Delivering was uneventful too really except for the size of these babes.
All hovered around 9lbs and more except for Jon who was a ¼ oz short of 8lbs and I have decided this was due to the fact that throughout that pregnancy I had been so weight conscious… Before he could be weighed, Jon voided on the nurse… Not a pretty sight…
Anyway, after discussing Melanie’s situation with a couple of people I decided I was probably wrong in thinking she should avoid the c-section if she could and I was reconciled with the prospect. Besides, how lucky could she get?! Having a baby and not feeling pain?! Wow! That should be a treat…
Then earlier this week she called to announce that the last ultrasound showed Brianne at 10.5lbs already and with room to grow more. She was obviously surprised at my change of mind but seemed pleased. After all, everyone’s experience is different and nobody should assume theirs is the only ‘right’ one.
Actually Melanie was calling to ask if I had seen the picture she sent. I went directly into my email box and discovered the file. I am horrible at understanding the images found in ultrasound pictures. This one was amazing.

A perfect little face, with her hand under her chin… I melted completely… Who cares how she gets here? Just get her here!
They scheduled the c-section for June 7th unless Melanie goes into labor before that.
She won’t be in newborn diapers very long… (=
Mel, if you would scan me a picture of you baby, I would be very grateful... I can't find anything since we have rearranged furniture!
In exchange i will translate for you what I wrote about your birth... back so many years ago!

Busy Days Ahead

One step at a time, we are getting closer and closer to big events for our family this year.
Melanie is due in just a few days and getting anxious about the birth, especially since the doctors seem to think Brianne McKinsey (I hope I spelled it right) is going to be a big baby, like her mommy was for me... maybe even bigger.
Right on the tail of this long awaited event, will be James and Bethany's wedding.
They were finally able to get their engagement pictures taken today and we will be able to get them in the newspaper.
I don't have much practice at writing announcements but will be doing this shortly.
The pictures were beautiful but some stood out and from those we picked one that shows how at ease they are with each other and how well they fit together.
There is a warmth about it that makes us smile contentedly.
We have great hope for their future! We love you two!

Cats and Dogs

Max is a funny dog... Jonathan brought him home when he was not even 6 weeks old. he was a ball of fur that fit in the crook of Bruce's arms. All black, except for white around the neck and around his nose, and the tip of his tail... The collar eventually lost most of its whiteness and left only a white spot.


He tried to snuggle up to Oreo but she was in a bad mood.
She was not his mother, what was that thing doing trying to invade her territory?!
Eventually they became friends. A bit like mother and son even.
Then Jon brought home yet another dog: Zoey..
His cousin had bought her at the local pound but could no longer care for her and ... Jon ... you already know the rest...
Zoey was a year younger than Max, spirited, playful. It was fun to watch the two of them play. Now, Oreo was not eager to have an intruder but she again eventually acclimated herself to the new addition... like a mother when her son brings home a wife...
And so they lived happily for 6 months, until Zoey came into heat and things became VERY interesting.
Max had taken to jumping the fence whenever there was a dog in heat in the neighborhood and we were very disconcerted to have to keep him chained up. But it was nothing compared to the whining mess he became when his true love Zoey was in that situation. No need to jump the fence now... there she was, right here, but we were keeping them apart and it was killing him.
When our vigilance let up, Max saw his opportunity and he became a father... of 8 cute little ones... We kept Lucy but no more dogs will be born again in our household. But the Zoey and Lucy must still have something that gives out the scent of going into heat as now and then Max goes crazy around both of them.

We still tie him up because he still jumps the fence and runs away. He was sitting on my porch the other day because he had slipped his collar and after his run, he was ready to come home.
Last night when I let him out I could not find the chain... Somehow it had broken.
I could not leave him out unchained but I also didn't feel like staying out... I wondered if I could simply attach what was left of the chain to his collar and see if he'd think he was tied up. He did... I am not going to take the chance of him finding out he's not and so we will be getting a new one this morning. He waits for us to put his chain on... Does it make him feel important, or safe? I don't know but there is definitely something going on...
Lucy is another funny one, like her dad...

She is definitely an indoor dog... She figured out a way to get them out and then run back in quickly. She loves car rides and howls when I leave her behind... Lucy loves Grandma's house best. There she runs free and no other dogs to bother her...
Do you know many people who have such an arrangement: the daughter, the parents and the mother-in-law...
And this is not mentioning the cats!
They are not Jon's fault though. They are James' responsibility: he brought us a pair of tiny kittens.
We had never really had much luck with cats. We kept them about a year and then they would just die.
Bruce killed the one he loved most by accident: a beautiful gray one a neighbor had given us. Sheba climbed on him every morning and rubbed her nose on his neck as she walked back and forth across his shoulders. She was not an indoor cat and so one morning as Bruce turned on his truck, he tore the belt... the cat had spent the night under the hood of the truck where it was warm... That was a blow to all of us...
Bruce, trying to replace the cat, brought us home, the most miserably dirty cat we have ever had. Luckily this one ran off.
Then we were adopted on Christmas Eve by this tiny little guy, who needed a home as he was found on our door steps - so the kids told us anyway - this cat had been through some serious trauma and was scared to death of being outside... he died a year or so later after getting sick. Jon was heartbroken over it as he had become his constant companion, sleeping on his back or shoulders or...

We were finally rid of cats when James brought the little ones: a beautiful orange cat and his sister a brindle - yes - who suckled our fingers or any part of our arms she could get a hold of. The male was a tough kitty... you could see in his eyes that he was an explorer but he was also very gentle and Bruce took a great liking to him and loved the way the kitten would lick his face.
When he was about 6 months, he took off and never came home.
He's still around but free.
At first his sister looked for him. It's as though she was us asking us to go outside with her and we would literally go for a walk with her - no leash.
She too eventually grew up and had a first litter of which remained two females: a grey velvety cat with a white collar and white paws. Bruce named her "grey friar".
Her sister "Didi" - named such because she runs just like the cartoon Didi - was completely white except for a grey spot on top of her head, which in time faded completely.
Momma cat 'Little Girl' managed to get out once more when she came into heat a second time and this brought about the birth of 7 white kittens... only one was completely white (we only kept him), the others like Didi. They were born two weeks after Zoey gave birth to her 8 pups!

Do you know why we won't have any more cats or dogs born here?!
But we got to witness amazing things...
Didi loved her momma's milk so much that she managed to nurse with the second litter!!! But that's not the funniest thing she ever did...
Little Girl didn't want to nurse her any more, so she snuggled with Zoey!!!
Zoey raised her head, looked at the cat and them lowered it again and let the cat nurse on her... We tried to take pictures but they didn't turn out...

When we take the dogs for a walk the cats follow and they linger with us.

Add to that a bird - who has since flown the coop - who ruled the roost pecking at the cats who backed off!
Of course our kids, who brought these animals home to us, now also have pets of their own and their personalities do not work well with our animals so it gets hairy whenever they bring their pets with them for a visit...
This makes life interesting...

Learning new things

The violin is not my favorite instrument but these past few weeks of listening to the Queen Elisabeth Competition have changed that drastically.
By the way a Belgian made it to the Finals next week: Lorenzo Gatto, 22.

And so did the American violinist Noah Bendix-Balgley, 24.
My favorite is Nikita Borisoglebsky, 23 of Russia, however.
We will see what they do next week. They are all 12 very good, that's for sure!

At first I was disappointed to only be able to listen to the Musiq'3RTBF broadcast but when Belgacom opened the video broadcast I found myself switching back to Musi'3 as the pauses went on for ever.

Musiq'3 broadcasted interviews in between performances and one such interview really caught my interest. Matthieu Devuyst is a Belgian violin maker. He reminded me of "Antonietta", story written by John Hersey, about Antonio Stradivarius and the violin he is inspired to built when he sees his eventual second wife. The more I heard him talk the more I thought of Harry Potter's wand. It's as though the violin and the bow, too, choose the violinist to give them a soul.

I learned that not all Stradivarius have the same sound quality. The good ones are great but the bad ones are bad...

Matthieu Devuyst attends concerts and competitions regularly because he said it helps him know what the violinists need. His work has already been noticed by jurors at major violin competitions who are amazed that a 2008 violin can produce the sound that only old ones can. Yes, he is turning heads and who knows? maybe in 500 years, they will be talking about the Belgian Stradivarius, Matthieu Devuyst...

Thanks to these podcasts I have learned a lot about violin and bow making. It seems there is a bit of a crisis because the wood used to make bows has become practically non-existent and it will be 50 years before the Brazilian trees will be ready to use.

I about died when I heard the price for a good bow: 4,000 euros!!! and that's not counting the violin... And they are going to increase in price due to the scarcity of the wood. Making bows is as much a craft as making violins.

They explained that most soloists prefer using the old violins but these are either in museums, under glass - from which they would like to remove them as they were not meant to be looked at but rather be heard - or are so expensive, they can only be loaned out until the musician can find a newer one. Another argument is that these old violins have been tweaked so much that little is left of the original instrument and so those advocate leaving them in museums or using them only for period pieces.
They say the music created after their time is impossible to play on instruments that were not 'improved' upon. I don't know wnough to have an opinion but it sure makes sense either way.
Violins are made to make music not lay quietly in a case, but do they lose something and are they no longer true Strads or Gaglianos or, or, or... Good point...
But does that really matter?

The interviewer Elsa De LaCerda said that one important component in playing a violin is to be at ease with it so that the musician can concentrate on the music and not on figuring out how to make the instrument sing. That was a quality found in the Devuyst instrument also.

I have gained a greater appreciation for the violin and am thoroughly enjoying the competition. Lorenzo Gatto plays on a Jean Baptiste Vuillaume violin. A violinist who played on a Matthieu Devuyst, Dalibor Karvay, who didn't make it out of the Semi-Finals.

Keep a look-out for the name Devuyst in the future...
http://www.matthieudevuyst.com/EN/menu.html

The Little Prince

I love listening to audiobooks. Some I have bought, some I have found online through a free site where volunteer readers upload their reading.

One such book I listened to yesterday, abridged version though it was, was that of "The Little Prince".

I was 14 years old when I first had to read that book and I thought I was too mature to read such a childish book and 'what was wrong with the teacher that she would have us sophisticated young women read this silly fantasy???'

The book definitely made an impression and never left me and one day I reopened the book and finally found myself mature enough to really appreciate its content.

My favorite part in the book has always been Chapter 21 when the fox teaches the Little Prince to tame him and the responsibility that comes with it.

Just before they part ways, the fox shares a secret with the boy.

He says: "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye… It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important… Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose..."

As I was listening to the story my mind wandered back to the previous chapter and I began to associate it with someone I knew a long time ago. And I thought of his wife… his rose.

The Little Prince's rose was capricious and haughty and he felt compelled to go far far away from her because he could not stand being around her any more. When he saw all the other roses he was 'thunderstruck' and then 'overcome with sadness'.

"She would be very much annoyed," he said to himself, "if she should see that... she would cough most dreadfully, and she would pretend that she was dying, to avoid being laughed at. And I should be obliged to pretend that I was nursing her back to life, for if I did not do that, to humble myself also, she would really allow herself to die... I thought that I was rich, with a flower that was unique in all the world; and all I had was a common rose..." And he lay down in the grass and cried. (Chapter 20)

Poor Little Prince… Until he goes back to the rose garden and tells the rose what he has finally learned.

" You are not at all like my rose," he said. "As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world." And the roses were very much embarrassed. "You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on. "One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you, the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose."

Maybe some day he'll understand that his rose has tamed him and their life together will be enriched by this understanding. Maybe he'll even tame her a little… (=

I found an online copy of this book in English at http://www.spiritual.com.au/articles/prince/prince_contents.htm.

A better copy in French can be found at http://www.scribd.com/doc/90275/Antoine-de-SaintExupery-Le-Petit-Prince

You can also The Little Princefind a French version of this audiobook at http://petitprince.podomatic.com/

Spring also means mowing...

The weather outside is perfect. Perfect for a baseball game! Perfect to mow the lawn too… )=
Last year our lawn mower died and we started using Grandma’s back and forth between her house and ours. That was a pain. We could have had ours fixed but I don’t drive stick shift so I was at the mercy of when someone was home to drive the truck… Not simple… Things got worse when I mowed over something and killed Grandma’s lawn mower. No use trying to mow with that one again… the hole in the oil tank was obvious… So back to square one… We need a lawn mower. Bruce decided to try something new. We had one of those really old push mowers, that don’t need gas or anything except man power… The blades needed sharpened… I’m REALLY glad about that because James said Bethany and he have one of those and he really wants another one!!!
Anyway… the electric lawn mower we bought dies too quick to get Grandma’s lawn mowed completely and the grass can’t be too high or it’s even more complicated to use it. On the plus side, I had no trouble starting that one! We plugged it in last week-end and were going to mow the lawn over the week-end BUT we let the grass get too high and it is awful! SO in my frustration with not being able to finish yesterday (2nd day) I texted Bruce that we HAD to get a new mower… a REAL one… He texted back that we’d get one this coming week-end but that’s not going to work either because the grass is already too tall to get cut without too much trouble and what if it starts raining again!? So I decided I’d look into the situation.
Truth is, Bruce picked the past 4 lawn mowers we have bought and I have had trouble starting all 4 of them. I guess I should not complain as it got me off the hook for mowing but there is nothing more aggravating to me than having to wait for someone to do something I see needs done. Much easier to do it myself… It’s not that I lack patience but patience only lasts so long…
I even contemplated a riding mower… our lawn would not need it but Grandma’s would… And it would no longer be a chore for the kids to mow her lawn… they would probably fight over who gets to next time… But I wasn’t ready to spend $1,000 or more on a mower… If Grandma wants a riding mower, she can get that herself but I don’t think she’d like to as she already bought one once and we don’t know where it is right now.
So when I walked into the store, I said : “I need something simple, no frills, that I can start myself”. The salesman showed me some of their different models and let me try them. I was in and out of there in less than 30 minutes. I told him I was driving a Cyrrus and asked if it would fit so he asked that they get it out of the box, remaining doubtful that I would take it home myself but I did! They collapsed it and put it on the back seat without too much trouble… it was a tight squeeze getting in but it made it and so I came home with a new lawn mower! If Bruce had seen my face he most likely would have laughed and said “Yep… that’s my wife… she’s stubborn as a mule… and when she gets the idea that something must get done… better step out of her way… it will get done…” (=
Even so, I was concerned with being able to get it out but I managed except for dropping part of it on my right foot. That wasn’t pleasant. They had collapsed it and I wasn’t sure I’d know how to put it back together. Bruce is working a shut-down this week, that means extra long hours and Jon was stuck with baseball practice till 8pm. I decided to be ‘brave’… I pulled out the directions and did what they said to and there was the lawn mower back together again. The bottle of oils was poured in the oil tank and I went to the gas station to fill up the gas container, filled up the lawn mower and started it without any trouble. It took 30 minutes to get the lawn mowed. I was just finishing when the kids got back from practice. Perfect… Bruce came home shortly after that and said he’d figured on spending more than I did on the mower, so I was good there too…
I still need to get the mower to Grandma’s though… Hopefully they will raise the level so it’s not as low as it is now and we will be able to cut her grass even though it is high…

It's Not Spring without a Spring Concert

Since Melanie graduated from high School, it has not been the same for us as we had become accustomed to attend the school's Spring concert every year.
The other boys never showed an interest in music other than listening to it so we got out of the habit in 11 years.
Last year Michael was approached about playing a band instrument and since Bruce played the saxophone in High School and we were looking forward to it but Mr. Urbani had too many saxophones already and wanted Michael to pick up another instrument, one Michael didn't seem to be interested in at all.
We inquired about renting one and getting Michael 'catch-up' lessons during the summer but he changed his mind and decided to join the choir.
In hindsight it was a much better choice for him. He was able to play football and since he is already taking Algebra, he has more time to study.
So... Yesterday we attended Michael’s Spring Concert. It was the first time we had had the opportunity to hear him sing with the choir. He didn't seem too enthused however and we soon learned he worried his brothers would poke fun at him for being in the choir!

We took both our cameras instead of taking the camcorder. These can upload easier but the quality on mine is very low and something must have happened as it would only record 15 seconds segments. Not practical when trying to record a complete song…
Luckily Bruce was able to figure his out fast and we do have complete recordings including the voices of rude people behind us who kept giggling and going through their picture album and talking at the same time. My dirty looks did nothing to stop them either so…

The band was pretty good too... Bruce even commented on the high note that went off without a glitch. And the second piece they played gave me goose bumps: “You’ll Never Walk Alone”… I wish I had recorded that too… By the last notes my eyes were watering…

“Sing Out with Praise” is the song the 7th grade choir sang at a State contest and earned them a Gold place. They were missing some boys and even though they sounded good it was not my favorite piece of the concert. I really enjoyed “Go Down Moses”. They really sounded good with that one, in spite of the lack of male voices.


In October last year, the choir president, Bethany Pettiford, died either while playing with friends or shortly thereafter. We were visiting Melanie and getting eye exams that week-end or Michael would have been at the tennis courts with her and a bunch of other kids when it happened. It left a big mark on him so I recorded the 8th grade choir singing the song they sang at the funeral. Michael attended it but didn't sing since he is in 7th grade.


I guess we can go to the Spring Concerts whether or not we have kids singing in them. It shows support for the community. We're learning...

You may also have noticed a change in the Page heading. Chez Regine, that means, here, right now, and I don't live in Liege any more even though it will always a place in my heart. Maybe I could revisit the purpose of this blog... these are my adventures as an emigrant Belgian in the USA. My story is as unique as that of the emigrants who came in the 19th century, before or after.
So, yes, I will reminisce but this is where I have made my adult life.
So "Chez Regine" is wherever I am now, not where I was years ago...