Oreo Remembered

It is hard to believe it was over 14 years ago that you entered our lives.  Which one of the kids brought you home making us believe you followed him?  Jon, I think, or maybe Richard.  Those two always brought animals home...  But you stayed...  You became our old German shepherd's best buddy and revived him in his old age.  You would never stay in the back yard, always finding ways to jump out.  And it might as well have been as when you didn't run away to find company, company came to find you!  i will never forget the day when we found two strange dogs in the backyard wanting to court you... ah ah...  we soon remedied that and you slowed down a bit but you were never cured of your love of roaming free and any chance you got you took.
You never went far.  You always came back to our front porch, to the poor mailman's great distress.  More than once I had to stop him after he passed our house because you were sitting there guarding the porch from any intrusion... him included...
Odie went the way of all old dogs eventually and you were left alone but Melanie and Joe came to the rescue and brought you another German shepherd to be friends with:Triton and after first pushing him away you accepted him as your son and raised him.  The two of you in the backyard...  One thing you were never able to teach Triton was to run away though...  he brought in his own type of trouble... and I'm not sure you didn't teach him that too as I caught you more than once scratching at the back door...
But Triton was only on loan, so after Melanie and Joe took him home, you were alone once more.
Still it was not very long until Jon brought home another puppy... 6 weeks old Max, found in a dumpster with his siblings...  oh how you despised him at first, growling at his futile attempts to nurse on you...  but you always had a good heart and you raised him and taught him ALL your tricks... oh yes, don't think I didn't know... I watched you coax him to jump over the fence...  and once he had had a taste of freedom, it was hard to keep him from running off...  Oh Oreo...
Before Melanie graduated from High School you had a permanent spot on her bed.  She was your whole world and when they came for a visit in those days, you would nuzzle your way to her and showered her with attention.  But she really could not take you home with her.  Besides by then they also had another dog because Triton was lonely for you...  It was quite hectic dealing with these new additions.  You hated Sammy and Triton would try to best Max, so we had to alternate you two in and out of the house with Sammy and max who got along fine.  Sammy was actually much more motherly towards him than you were, but that's ok...
Eventually Max took a bride, Zoey (thanks to Jon and Brandon) and together they produced Lucy...  And you took it all in stride.
You didn't run away very often any more but when you had the chance you took it... Pushing the gate open and setting all four of you into the streets of Peru...  How many times have I stayed home for fear you would run off while I was gone?!
A few days ago Jon noticed something nasty in your mouth and we hoped it would heal itself but by last night it had doubled in size and smelled horribly bad.  I took you to the Veterinarian this morning knowing full well there was a chance he would tell me it was cancer and that the cure was worse than the disease at your age.  You had been breathing so painfully for the past few weeks.  It all became clear.
When I came home alone this morning, my heart was heavy because I didn't let anyone else say goodbye to you but I didn't want you to be scared.  I didn't want you to have time to figure out what was going to happen ahead of time.  The doctor gave me the choice but it seemed like it would be more cruel to you.
You trusted me and you trusted the doctor who had taken care of you many times before.  I put my head close to yours and whispered softy in your ear that everything was going to be ok and that you were going to soon feel much better.  It was quick.  You didn't show any sign of pain before your spirit was released to roam free again, this time in fields much sweeter than those on Earth and I hope with all my heart Odie and Kei and Luke were there to greet you.

It was not easy but it was better to let you go...  You were a big part of our lives and will always be part of our family, Oreo...  Thank You for being patient with us and teaching us to love you (grouch and all). 
We miss you already...  Max, Zoey and Lucy wonder where you are...  I wonder how many times Lucy will take me to the backdoor to make sure you are not left outside... 
We will see you again some day but for now it's goodbye...

A few more pictures to supplement the previous entry

Some of these are pretty funny...







Some of pretty tender...



under the watchful eye of Nana - who howls when Brianne cries...

First steps into Grandmotherhood

I've never been one to pick up another woman's baby.

I have loved every one of my children, and have good maternal instincts.
My claws come out when anyone injures my children and the mild mannered person that I am, soon becomes a ferocious tiger whose den the culprit better stay out of.

Bruce took to grandfatherhood like a fish to water.
I had to grow into it, let things settle for a few days.

I understood in my head the concept of being a grandmother but the bottom line remained... I have never been one to pick up another woman's baby and Breanne was someone else's baby. I didn't shrink from picking her up either of course because she is sweet and feels good to hold.


It was not until I was looking at the pictures of Melanie holding her in her arms that it hit me... "My baby has a baby of her own" and that baby, because it is her baby, is my baby too... What a weird feeling...
Maybe a little like what fathers feel after 9 months of pregnancy.

Joe's answer to my question "How do you feel?' when we went to the hospital the day Brianne was born was "Surreal"
Yes, I understand that. Better than ever.

Melanie was sure she would be fine on her own and believing that Joe would be with her all week, we knew she would be in good hands but then she said Joe was going back to work Friday and I began to worry...
About my babies: mother and daughter...


Still she was sure they'd be fine and I thought it was important she felt her way into motherhood just like I was feeling my way into grandmotherhood.
I left the door opened and made sure she knew to call if she changed her mind.
She did.

So I left Peru Friday morning... my cell phone was dead because the week before I had left my cord at the hospital and taken Melanie's instead... mmm... should I see something into that?
Anyway... I knew my way sort of... I got the directions off Mapquest but the came up with 2 different locations so I got nervous and had to stop at the store to pick up a new car charger.
Once that was done, I could be on my way and call Mel when I got closer to getting lost. I actually did much better than I had anticipated.
I have visual memory of things and so milestones are my way of finding my way to places I've been. Not always good because, let's face it, they can tear down buildings and build new ones!

So, I'm here and Melanie is doing fine. And Brianne is doing fine too.
They are getting used to each other and learning to be mother and daughter and I get to learn how to be a grandmother.

Experience... sure I have some with my own kids.
Does that mean Mel will have the same ones? no. She will have her very own.
Like we said... Melanie is the best Mom Brianne could ever have and Brianne is the best child Melanie could ever have. The same goes for Joe of course and it is comforting to see how he dotes over the little one.

The dogs are hilarious...
Sammy does not seem to care one way or another.
Triton on the other hand behaves like a mother-hen.
If Brianne starts to fuss he starts running in every direction until he finds someone to go get her. Reminded us of Nana in Peter Pan...

I am stepping back and helping with silly things like housework, because that's what Melanie needs right now while she is recuperating from her c-section.
But it was fun playing with Brianne while her mom was taking a long soothing shower this morning.
They had a LONG night and so now mother and daughter are asleep.

A lady from church brought dinner yesterday but they will hold on to it.
Grandma (me, still weird...)can cook for them right now.

It is wonderful to be able to feel the warmth, love and happiness these young people feel right now. They have been married almost 7 years and they went through some pretty difficult times due to unforeseen circumstances. They had hoped for a child for a long time and dealt with much opposition because people assumed Melanie was putting her career ahead of having a family. If only people knew... The pain felt through all this was very deep but it seems that this deep pain has been replaced with as deep a joy.

Parenthood is more than feeling deep joy though and so along with these fulfilling feelings they are also finding out how to cope with not so pleasant moments as the three of them are learning to adjust to each other.







What an adventure they are embarking on!
What amazing things await them!
It's going to fun watching it all unfold!
and
It's the beginning of a new adventure for us too...
Thank You, Joe and Mel!
For giving us the opportunity to discover grandparenthood!
May you one day receive the same blessing!

A Mother’s Story

Peru Jun 21, 19--

… Recapping previous weeks…

I am still gaining weight but moderately. At the end of my pregnancy I weigh 164 pounds, which is 24 more than 9 months ago. I sleep poorly because my back bothers me.

May 31^st: Bruce drove me to Huntington for a baseball tourney that lasted until 10pm. Because I sat in a chair all day, I had a bad night.

June 1: Sunday, Muriel's birthday. My stomach is so tense that I have trouble walking and am terribly uncomfortable. In the evening, after Muriel's birthday party, the contractions become regular and painful and Bruce takes me to the hospital. I'm admitted and I spend the night there. Bruce stays with me and so misses work. False hope! I am released the next morning.

Furious with myself and disappointed I promise myself not to return until my waters have broken. However

June 3^rd: I start having a bloody show and the contractions come every 15 minutes and are painful. Yet I manage to finish my letter to Myriam and then go lay down at 1pm.

June 4^th: same thing as yesterday. In the morning I did tell Dick that within 24-48 hours he will have another grandchild. At lunch time I was still there but at 12:10pm an extremely strong contraction takes my breath away and I ask Muriel to take me to the hospital. The contractions are 5 minutes apart and hurt so much that I have trouble breathing and am unable to stand up.

Muriel had to ask for the EMTs to bring a wheelchair to get me from the truck into the hospital. I could not walk.

They wheel me to the Maternity Ward where a nurse examined me and they deciced to keep me. The nurse wanted to know how close the contractions are to each other but has to wait 20 minutes as everything stopped again. As soon as she leaves the room they come back! Of course!

I started to walk and they were back every 5 minutes. No change until June 5^th at 11am. I remained dilated at 4cm all night. Then

June 5^th: at 11am the contractions become intolerable. I am fighting them because I am unable to relax. They have to give me a shot to help me relax. It helps until 3pm. I was hooked up to a monitor that marked my contractions and the baby's heartbeat as well as the baby's movements. What thunder!

Muriel was there, holding my hand to help me. Bruce was there too and it made me feel good. He kept asking if I could forgive him for causing me to be in so much pain. I said yes but we would not be having any more babies for a while…

I was so miserable!

I had been the first of 3 women to arrive at the hospital and the other 2 already had their babies and I was still laying there… in agony.

At 3:30pm the doctor came in to check on me and said it would be another 2 hours. I was at 8cm! I thought I was going to lose my mind.

At 3:45pm I was crazy. The doctor had broken my waters with a long hook and I felt an intense need to push. I was trying to relax but nothing would do. The nurse told me to breathe deeply but the more I breathed the more I felt like pushing.

At 4pm: 9cm. Bruce calls the nurse back

At 4:15pm, the nurse hurries me into the delivery room. The baby's head had crowned. They could see the baby's hair. They call the doctor who hurries. Bruce gets gowned. They get me on the delivery table and tell me to push if I feel like it – which I do happily! –

As soon as they are ready: 2 pushes and here comes Baby! A beautiful big baby! A little girl: 9 pounds 7 ounces 21 inches!

It is incredible! Labor pains are so awful to bear! I thought many times that I would never get there and yet… it is unbelievable how you forget such intense pain as soon as you hear your child's voice!

What a wonder! A child! Well worth the trouble!

When you hold that little one in your arms! I felt so close to Bruce! It was Love that created this little girl.

Melanie Eileen was born at 4:33pm June 5^th, 19--.

She dropped to 8 pounds 12 ounces in the first 3 days but 15 days after birth she weighed 9lbs 13oz. I wish I had had my journal with me sooner. It has been in the attic and Bruce forgot to go get it. However, I can say that she puckers her lower lip like I do when she wants to cry and when she wakes up, she opens one eye at a time.

She has long brown hair that are begin to get lighter and grey blue eyes. She is so cute. She only cries when she's hungry. She must have a stomach ache today because she's crying a lot, poor little one! Bruce is there for every feeding.

June 12: in the evening, Dick et Muriel take us to Indianapolis to pick up Marraine at the airport, who brings us lots of presents.

June 13: baby shower at Ruth Plothow's. Marraine gave me $100 to open a bank account for Melanie and also money to buy her a bed when we are on our own.

June 15: Melanie gave us her first laugh. We were going to bed and were looking at her tenderly and she burst into laughter. What a joy!

Like Mother, Like Daughter

It looks like Melanie will be spared the pains of child labor. Lucky her!
At first I had a real problem with hearing that the doctors were contemplating a c-section to deliver Brianne. After all, Melanie weighed 9 pounds and 7 ounces when she was born. Her grandfather thought she was such a big baby coming out of such a petite woman that I was, that he nicknamed her Baby Huey.
My sister gave birth to children on both continents and the doctors here seemed so alarmed so soon that I figured the same thing was happening with Mel. Adding to the fact that so few doctors want to deliver babies these days because of suit-happy people who have made the risk of something going wrong more than doctors want to deal with.
The doctor who delivered Melanie was Chinese. He delivered all of my kids except Michael. He used to say: “Baby comes when baby ready” and overall my pregnancies were very easy. Delivering was uneventful too really except for the size of these babes.
All hovered around 9lbs and more except for Jon who was a ¼ oz short of 8lbs and I have decided this was due to the fact that throughout that pregnancy I had been so weight conscious… Before he could be weighed, Jon voided on the nurse… Not a pretty sight…
Anyway, after discussing Melanie’s situation with a couple of people I decided I was probably wrong in thinking she should avoid the c-section if she could and I was reconciled with the prospect. Besides, how lucky could she get?! Having a baby and not feeling pain?! Wow! That should be a treat…
Then earlier this week she called to announce that the last ultrasound showed Brianne at 10.5lbs already and with room to grow more. She was obviously surprised at my change of mind but seemed pleased. After all, everyone’s experience is different and nobody should assume theirs is the only ‘right’ one.
Actually Melanie was calling to ask if I had seen the picture she sent. I went directly into my email box and discovered the file. I am horrible at understanding the images found in ultrasound pictures. This one was amazing.

A perfect little face, with her hand under her chin… I melted completely… Who cares how she gets here? Just get her here!
They scheduled the c-section for June 7th unless Melanie goes into labor before that.
She won’t be in newborn diapers very long… (=
Mel, if you would scan me a picture of you baby, I would be very grateful... I can't find anything since we have rearranged furniture!
In exchange i will translate for you what I wrote about your birth... back so many years ago!